Back to Reality

So here it is. The holiday weekend is over and it is time to go back to reality. I do this with the utmost of reluctance. After two days spent in the quiet peacefulness of the country, I am really not ready to get back to work. Of course, I never want to go to work. I hate going to work. HATE IT! I have hated it for quite some time but that hatred was magnified a little over two and a half years ago when my sweet little baby boy was born. I hate getting him out of his comfy bed in the morning and leaving him with the lucky lady who gets to be with him all day while I go off to earn a dollar. I hated it so much that I let myself become so consumed by grief that I became a person who I didn't know and I didn't like much. I was a wallower. I wallowed so far down that I didn't think that happiness could ever be attained. A rather uncomfortable side effect of wallowing, aside from deep, unrelenting unhappiness, is what I like to call fat lady syndrome. I had lost all but ten pounds of baby weight when I went back to work and let it slowly creep back on until I made it up to 199 pounds. 199 pounds of fat, unhappy, woe is me wallowing misery. I had wallowed so long and so far down that I really got sick and tired of my pity party. I was sick of being unhappy and really sick of being fat and feeling bad all the time. I figured no one else was going to make me happy so I had better get cracking.
I suppose, in fairness, I should report that having come to the realization that being a stay at home mom to this new little bundle of joy was not realistic; I began working toward a nursing degree during my pregnancy. I figure that if I am going to have to work, then I might as well do something that I can feel good about. Nursing is a noble profession- not to mention flexible and commands a fairly decent wage. Obviously it has been a slow process as I will FINALLY begin the nursing program in January. I guess about New Years of this year (2010) was my breaking point and it was time to put things into overdrive. I took the leap of faith to cut back my hours from full to part time work and get back to school full time to 'Get 'r Done!' so to speak. I decided that, while I am not a big fan of debt, this was a worthwhile investment and if a student loan is what it takes then that is what we will do! It was scary to cut back my hours at work but the world kept turning and it was easier than I thought it would be. I am happy to finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. December 2012, I will be through the program and can obtain a license to practice as a registered nurse. I am just ready to close the door on the current chapter of my professional life and jump into the next one. Unfortunately this change of mine doesn't really work like that. It isn't the proverbial close the door open a window scenario. It is more like a bridge from one life to the next. Only my bridge isn't a charming bridge over a bubbling brooke with vines of ivy and flowers woven through it and birds singing in the air around it. It's more like a rickety old tight rope type of bridge twenty feet over a raging river. I wonder what would happen if I did close the door? What if I slammed it so hard that the door jammed shut? I suppose instead of trying to balance myself across the tight rope bridge, I would have to pull myself up the side of the cliff instead. Some days climbing up the side of the cliff seems much more appealing!
Well it turns out that the fat lady syndrome is a much easier and faster problem to fix. I love to run. Running makes me happy. I have only run two days of the last ten and I AM ready to get back to it. Since Memorial Day weekend, I have lost 35 pounds and finished a half marathon. A HALF MARATHON!!! I discovered it is possible to change my life. It doesn't have to be a 'some day' thing. Some day is today! Some day is -4:30 am, groggy eyed, lace up the running shoes, get the leash on the dog, head out the door, never look back- today! I will get up tomorrow and run. I will run back to reality. I will run away from unhappiness. I will run toward a better tomorrow and take 'some day' one day at a time.

Turkey Trot

Gobble! Gobble! This morning was the 21st annual GE Run Thru the Woods in The Woodlands, Texas. This is my second year to run it and I am quite pleased with my results. My finish time was 54:29 a full six minutes and 23 seconds faster than last year!!! Hot diggity dog! This is a huge event. There is a 1 mile kids race, a 3 mile teens race, a 3 mile family walk, and the 5 mile run. There were 5000 participants in the events this morning. I participated in the 5 mile run along with what seemed like the other 4999 people!!! The first thing that I noticed about being a little faster than last year is that there is more of a pack the entire time. I was past mile marker two before I even had any real space to myself but I had to dodge and weave the entire time. That aside, there is something kind of comforting about running on a familiar course. I remembered where the mile markers were and I knew when to expect the water stations. With the course being so crowded it was hard to maintain a steady pace but, I managed to keep my splits relatively consistent. They were 10:45, 10:26, 10:52, 10:47, and 11:42. Now, I am not 100% certain of the last two splits. You would think I could remember five measly mile splits but I am really not sure if I hit mile marker four at 42:50 or 43:50. It makes sense that mile five took longer because there is a hill at the beginning of it. I thought that I handled the hill quite well and it was way easier than last year. It didn't really seem like it should have cost me a whole minute but I can't think of a reason to have lost a minute on mile four- it's flat! So, I make it up that last hill and am cruising down Lake Woodlands Drive and can't believe all the people who are walking on the last mile. I turned onto Six Pines and pick up the pace because I am nearing the finish. More walkers? Why aren't people kicking it in we only have one more turn and there is the finish line!!! As I am running down Six Pines, I keep increasing my pace and passing other runners and walkers, not understanding why are they walking?!?! I made the final turn and really kicked it in and ran across the finish line. My watch said 54:32. I was hoping for 55 or better so I was super happy. My official chip time was 54:29- I'll take it!!! I told my husband I couldn't believe how many people were walking when we only had one turn to go. He informed me that the walker's course met up with ours and the walker's finishing chute was next to our finish line. OK, so that explains the walkers but not all the other runners that I passed to get to the finish line. Maybe they just didn't leave enough steam to kick it up in the end? After the race I was hooked up with a free pancake breakfast and then we headed home. Since we celebrated Thanksgiving with my family last Sunday and will be celebrating with my in-laws this weekend, Thanksgiving Day was free to just fool around. We took the baby to Grandma's and the teenager to Harry Potter! I tell you what, if you want to see a movie in a peaceful theatre go at 1:45 on Thanksgiving Day. My Mom had a roast with potatoes and carrots when we got back from the movie. What a relaxing day! Now for the Black Friday plan of attack....

The Seawall Half Marathon

Well this was a first for both of us- my first half and the first time this event was held. Overall, it was a great experience but I hope we both learned a few things that may make the next one go a bit smoother. The first lesson that I learned was not to count on the event planners to provide you with everything that you need. At packet pick up in the Moody Gardens Visitors Center (which was at the finish line) they had run out of pins for the race bibs. This sent us on a mad dash down Seawall Blvd. heading to the starting line at Stewart Beach where I was able to find a race person who still had a few left. The race ended up starting nearly 20 minutes late because we were waiting for buses to bring runners from Moody Gardens to the Starting Line. There were actually three events I guess you could say. There was a 10k that started and finished at Moody Gardens and then there was the half marathon that started at Stewart Beach and finished at Moody Gardens and last but not least was the Crab walk which was the same course as the half marathon, only for walkers. The starting line had pace markers up to 9:30 minute miles. I am no where near that fast so I moved more toward the back - not all the way- but apparently farther than I needed to. I spent at least the first half mile trying to get around walkers! The first two aid stations were understaffed. I didn't even get water at the first one and the lady was literally holding a hose over the cup as I reached for it at the second one. I was a little frustrated at the first aid station and actually said the word ridiculous out loud. In retrospect I feel bad about it. I am sure they were incredibly overwhelmed and were more than likely volunteers and I am grateful that they were even there. Luckily, all the other aid stations were good to go and they were set up every mile and a half with water, gatorade, and power gels. I think some of them even had fruit. I had a bit of a head cold which didn't end up causing me too much trouble. I was really worried that the drainage might make me nauseated or that my nose would be running like crazy. Lucky for me no puking and I didn't have to do any unladylike snot shooting. My Mom would be so happy about that. 18 years of hearing "Act like a Lady" every time you leave the house really sticks with you! The only thing I noticed from the cold was a dizzy spell or two but they didn't hang around too long!

Being the multi tasker that I am, I thought I would kill two birds with one stone. I would accomplish this half marathon goal and study for my pharmacology exam at the same time. Instead of bringing my iPod, I brought my digital recorder that I use to record my lectures. The batteries died at about mile 6. I really didn't miss it too much because I had the ocean to my left. It was beautiful and the sound of the waves crashing was so much more interesting that anti seizure medications anyhow. Come to think of it, around mile 12, how motivating would a discussion about anti-depressants really be? Looking for suicidal tendencies:

Practitioner: "Have you had any thoughts of hurting yourself or others?"

Me: "Well, I didn't really think I did but here I am and I am hurting myself pretty badly right now!"

Practitioner: "Do you have a plan?"

Me: "Run a half marathon!!!"

So...... Its probably best that the batteries died. Another lesson learned- charge or change the batteries BEFORE the race! And don't select lectures to listen to on race day.

I was feeling really good from about mile three on. I got over my frustration about the first couple of aid stations and was really able to enjoy myself and the beautiful scenery. I am so glad I picked the ocean as the back drop for my first half marathon. The sights, the sounds, and the smell were so amazing that the mile markers were just whizzing by! I was so happy that my husband and baby were able to see me off at the starting line and then they popped up again around mile 8 which happened to be about a block away from the hotel. This worked out because I was really hoping to see them on the course for one, and I could hand off my digital recorder and get it out of my pocket. Getting rid of the thing was probably the smartest thing that I did because I found later that the Gu that I had in my pocket ended up giving me a chafing burn so I didn't really need to get one from the recorder as well! Another lesson learned! I need a fuel belt so I don't have to carry fuel in my pocket! I was feeling good and amazed that I was able to hold a relatively quick and steady pace. I was making anywhere from 11:30 to 12:00 minute miles until I hit mile ten. That is when I started to fizzle out. Mile 11 took 12:30. Mile 12 took just over 13. The final 1.1 miles took 14 minutes and 40 seconds!!! I am not sure what is to blame for the fizzle. It is possible that I didn't warm up properly and this could have led to the stiffness I was feeling. It is also possible that I was running too fast in the beginning. Another possibility is that I was under prepared in the fueling department. I had already taken about three or four Power Gels and/Gus and I was afraid to take another one. I wasn't sure if I was drinking enough water and I didn't want to make myself sick or overload myself with electrolytes (if that is even possible). So, I chose to fight the mental battle and keep myself from walking. Just about everyone around me was walking by the end. I am proud of myself for only walking at the aid stations (and not even every time!) I know there is nothing wrong with walk breaks. A lot of people have success with the run/walk method. I just can't wrap my head around it! The finish line was at Moody Gardens and the last mile or so actually took us around Moody Gardens. It was very difficult because I could hear the finish line for a long time but I couldn't see it. People all over the place kept cheering us all on. "You are almost there! Keep going. Another half mile. Another quarter mile. Probably just another two tenths keep going." Well, apparently I am a visual finisher. After running twelve plus miles hearing just another quarter mile isn't enough to kick it into overdrive for a strong finish!! A man even ran past me saying "Where is this finish line anyway?!?" Once, I saw it, I looked at my watch and it was 2:36 something. I thought to myself beat 2:40 beat 2:40 and I put the petal to the metal!!!!! I ran my heart out and saw my husband and baby there to cheer me on, I heard them call my name out over the speaker and I threw my arms in the air as I crossed over the finish line. My watch said 2:38:00. My official chip time was 2:38:17. The sweetest kids were there giving us water and our finishing metals. They had all kinds of recovery goodies. I didn't know what I wanted so I grabbed one of everything. I ended up eating the banana and the baby ate the tootsie pop and fruit snacks. I ate the pretzels later with my ham sandwich for lunch. I know I ran my heart out because I have NEVER been sore like this. I am still hobbling around stiff legged but its a good pain- I accomplished something amazing pain!

My official standings were 785 out of 1246 overall and 94 out of 153 in my age division. Not too shabby if I do say so myself!

After we read the official postings we headed back to the hotel where I took a hot shower and let it sink into my sore legs. A little while later we walked over to the beach. That water felt soooooooooooo good on my legs. I think they should have a wave pool at the finish line of every race. It gives a whole new meaning to the concept of alternating ice and heat! And, who knew you would need a bathing suit for the beach in November??? Another lesson learned- Always wear a bathing suit to the beach because denim is heavy when wet. I am not sure what the ocean wading did for my cold but it felt so good on my legs I didn't even care!

And just because I can, I am just sending this out into the universe. To the lady who stopped to bend over and stretch ON THE COURSE directly in front of me: Although your figure is slim and may be appealing to some, stopping on the course to stretch is neither appropriate nor kind. Luckily for you, I had time to run around you (which I shouldn't have had to do!) because my knee up your fanny wouldn't have been comfortable for either one of us and if I had to, I would have run over you. You may consider moving two feet off the course to stretch next time!

I am the one in the blue with the strong muscle arms!